Sunny side up!

We here have to learn to live without the sun because it just doesn’t feel like showing up. Today however it has pierced through all the clouds and showed up.

Now the joy of sunshine on your face in the winters is an experience shared by humanity. Usually when I’m alone and enjoying the sun I feel free of all the cares and the burdens. They fade away in the shining glory of the sun.

The warmth of the sun is so reassuring and seems to set everything right. There is clarity in my head and joy in my heart. It’s quite a good feeling, really.

But today I didn’t feel that same measure of the intoxication.

All I wanted to this when I came to this lovely city was to lose myself somewhere in the beautiful places and bitter sweet life away from home. I wanted to make a fresh beginning and do things differently.

My expectations were not met, they still are somewhere at the back of my mind waiting for redemption.

Now I realise that as beautiful as the day looks and as lovely as life seems on the bright and happy days, you have to keep the goodness flowing through the rest of the days.

But its hard work and you have to make it happen. That’s the only way. Sun or no sun, life has to be made good.

Though I admit it’s just easier on sunny days.

Behind my back

Living alone is a pain. If carrying grocery and getting shoulders busted twice a week was not enough, then it’s doing the laundry.

Doing the laundry in the halls here....well my first time around. The laundry bag got heavy and walking all the way to the launderette. Lord! My arms broke. My back had not yet recovered from lifting a heavy suitcase when this came along.

But the ordeal didn’t end there coz I had to take the stuff back all the way.

Add some rain and some cold wind and hair flying all over the place to the picture and doing all this on a growling stomach and you just about get the juicy part of my day.

Oh and I had a little tiff with a tiny annoying woman (I was tempted to get her by the neck and she’d regret it!)

Living alone is quite an experience and that’s what I'll say for the moment. All these years, I have hated carrying weight but all alone now and these weighty issues seem to crop up so often.

By the end of this year here I’ll definitely have grown stronger. But the moment I can’t take it anymore, I’m telling mom I want to get married.

I need someone to carry the weight around (including me)!
:p

A toast to new ramblings

When the world around you becomes quiet, suddenly there is more noise in your head than usual. This is happening to me.

I have shifted to a place where I should have been long back but that's just not how things turned out. Last night was disturbed as I had distorted dreams of times that cannot be replaced. I was disturbed by voices from outside that I couldn't stop.
Being in my own company I have tasted something of a jailed independence and reaffirmed my belief that family is the most important thing in the world.

With curtains and doors I have locked out the world and opened my mind to take me wherever it may choose. My head has too many voices trying to pull me in different directions and I'm trying to keep up.

I have revisited moments from the past which despite what I believe are at best,history. But hopes and aspirations are showing up from beneath the surface and dreams and regrets refuse go away.

This is a new beginning, one among I dont know how many.

This time around maybe I'll let my head do the talking.