Truth about me

Making difficult decisions, meeting people from the past, facing insecurities of today-nothing is easy. Yet we move because life moves and we must follow and obey. Through all this I decide to be me. The past is a shadow of my victories and failures, the future a vision of goals that have yet to be materialised. In today lies my only chance at life. I live it, I breathe it, as me. No lies, no masks, only the truth... for all to see.

Homecoming

Seeking a release I came. I saw and was conquered again.
Found the treasure but it slipped through my finger.
My silence didnt need a listner, my mind forgot fear.
I revisited my self and I was me once more.
Familiar faces, familiar touch, but only for a moment, only this much.

****
Coming home does all this to you and more.

Am I? Am I not?

I’m not good because I did what I was told

I’m not bad because sometimes I can be cold

I’m not alive because time passes by

I’m not dead because I can still laugh and cry

I’m not pretty because mirrors come close to the truth

I’m not ugly because all truth is not absolute

I’m not a winner because I won a race

I’m not a loser because I did it all with faith

I’m not any of these
Yet what else could I possibly be?



I think alot and have many questions...

When

When
There was an internal strife
I needed to get a life

life
Was I being punished for obeying?
For which horror was I paying?

couldn’t
There must be a goal, I had none
There was no battle I won

suck
No hope, no sunshine, and no words I could rhyme
How could I fight the tears I hadn’t cried?

anymore, it did!
My brain was playing tricks
I could throw up, I was so sick

But then... I had a moment
From moments of desperation
Came some bit of inspiration

My feet were firm on the ground again
If I tried, maybe I could make life sane

Now I believe in me once more...

A toast to new ramblings

When the world around you becomes quiet, suddenly there is more noise in your head than usual. This is happening to me.

I have shifted to a place where I should have been long back but that's just not how things turned out. Last night was disturbed as I had distorted dreams of times that cannot be replaced. I was disturbed by voices from outside that I couldn't stop.
Being in my own company I have tasted something of a jailed independence and reaffirmed my belief that family is the most important thing in the world.

With curtains and doors I have locked out the world and opened my mind to take me wherever it may choose. My head has too many voices trying to pull me in different directions and I'm trying to keep up.

I have revisited moments from the past which despite what I believe are at best,history. But hopes and aspirations are showing up from beneath the surface and dreams and regrets refuse go away.

This is a new beginning, one among I dont know how many.

This time around maybe I'll let my head do the talking.