The room listens

When the last cup of tea was downed and the last meal cooked, the outside world stayed calm and the room listened. It was time to leave, again. The room which listened to every wail, every scream, the laughter and the prayers had nothing to say in return.

Not much had changed except a few more pricks in the blue board, a new DNA on the floor and some scratches on the mirror. The sun still pierced through the window right into the iris, the air made its way through the creeks and the sink kept flooding.

It was alive once with the sound of the music and footsteps. Now it lies in wait of new life. Will there be music and dancing, maybe? The room wonders in silence..

The drama of life

One year ago she came here at about 58 quilos, maybe happy, harmless and unsure.
It was supposed to be a dream come true and she thought it should be fun.

The air was cold and she didn't like the equally cold stares she got.
The tea tasted strange, the accent was difficult and her heart ached from memories of home.

Everyday she put on a smile, at least she thought it was a smile.
There were no friends and hardly any friendly faces.
Struggling with work and deadlines, maintaining the distance which existed not only in her head.

There were happy moments, in front of a 72 inch screen, hidden in her room, lying in bed.
Parties, silly jokes and drunk friends was becoming the norm.

More loneliness, a thicker shell, some moments of freedom and a false confidence.
Doubt interspersed with belief, vacations ruined by stress.
A prayer to be back in the land her soul yearned for while trying to love the one she was in.

Beliefs shattered, every emotion vomited through the system, no one to understand.
Spiritual progress, love for the abundant loneliness, a vulnerable heart which has always been so.

Summer.Yay!

More tribulation came, it was a deeper fall this time with three days of unadulterated, uninterrupted despair and no hunger.
This time the strategy was one battle at a time.

A re-emergence.

A tad bit heavier, somehow happy, still harmless and unsure, she takes her life too seriously or maybe not.

****
There is so much drama in our lives.

Sometimes

Sometimes it takes inspiration
Sometimes it takes intervention

Sometimes a mountain is too high
Sometimes climbing it barely brings joy

Sometimes hope makes the heart glad
Sometimes it tears patience apart

Sometimes I like to please
Sometimes I want people on their knees

Sometimes tears come for no reason
Sometimes pain doesn't evoke an emotion

Sometimes we don't understand life
Sometimes this ignorance is bliss

****
But what about other times?

Rock on

Finding the strength to move on

Leaving lies and embracing truth forlorn

Sowing together all that was torn

Is it me or did heaven just say, "Rock on"

Should I?

Should I keep dreaming or open my eyes?

Voice of an enlightened heart

When the music fades
and the strangers leave
I want to come home to a voice
to a memory
of times that have been
and those that will be.

The wealth of the world
the riches that we see
will come to nil
it will be only you and me
for love you are
and love you will always be.

The end is the beginning
before the start you knew me
you sent me here
for the world to see
your glory and mercy
working through me.

Words are not enough
and sometimes words I don't need
to feel you around
you are my saviour, my king
from forever to forever
you are and will be.

Why

Why must we prove ourselves to others?
Why do the right words fail to come out?
Why do jealousy and love spring from the same place?
Why can't we open up when we are most vulnerable?

Why does faith stumble when fear arrives?
Why does love not feel enough sometimes?
Why can a moment of sadness destroy a lifetime of joy?
Why do feelings matter?

****
We all have our questions. Why do we need answers?